BROADSHEET #5 Misspent Motherhood

misspent motherhood

Published in Mom Egg 2011, Vol 9

i squandered my motherhood

mistaking it for my youth

believing that because i

was sixteen or twenty or

thirty i was entitled to

indulge in the activities of

youth.

scholarship, art, drinking,

unbridled sex.

dragging my children along

as if they were accessories

like pocketbooks

instead of easily bruised fruit

to be guarded from danger

tended like gardens

raised to be guardians

of the future

of their own futures

i rushed into adulthood

as if it were the answer

instead of the quest.

and therefore i lost

my opportunity to grow

into being grown

up – until my own

children were nearly

grown themselves.

they grew like weeds – no

nurturing, no watering.

They are not weeds.

My children are

wildflowers.

i am their mother

however nonchalant

i may have been.

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